Anyways, drink of choice for Breakside to Horse Brass. Kennedy School is apparently off the agenda.

I am ready to move on but, hey, that BLT beer from Ezra was pretty damn drinkable. I would have had another but we moved on… here’s the bus interior.

And, I’m now onto Pabst 12 ouncers….

Poop!

Good god, am I the only guy who can’t keep Breakside and Burnside seperate? Anyways, the BLT gose was very tasty, a little tinge of salt to a nice, balanced beer.

Beer review over.

We also drank several pints of other delicious beer and a lamb burger…WHICH WAS FANTASTIC.

And, for the record, we werev the fist beer blog in Portland.

Hey! How was Amnesia?

I don’t remember.

Anyways, I had some ipa and talked to the great marketing staff from Widmer and felt guilty for being so critical of their spiced ipa.

So what about Amnesia beers?….. meh.

So far the mood seems subdued. Grabbed a cider at Bushwacker and then endured some Red Chair and the enjoyed an Upright Five on the bus to Widmer.

So here I am sitting at a table, Widmer Kellerbeer and Spiced IPA seem to be the most popular choice. I ordered the Chai spiced IPA and, well….

Nothing is better than following the degradation of grammar and civility than a good ol live blog on a beer bus. So, tonight my goal is to see how far I can push myself away from actual human interaction and type away on my phone to document Ezra’s birthday bus ride.

All I really know is we’re headed to Widmer, Alameda, Breakside, Kennedy School and Horse Brass… and I am woefully, WOEFULLY out of drinking shape to handle such a fiasco. So I don’t really have high hopes for my endurance or coherance.

Starting the night with a long commute to Hopworks before picking up the bus at Bushwacker Cidery. Must remember to eat something soonish…

But I never expected to see this.

As Jack in the Box anticipated, my first reaction was, “hoax.” But then I saw it on Facebook. Where, you know, everything’s fact-checked. Don’t believe me? Check out their stupid Flash web site, where you can also see … oh, wait, I can’t link to anything. Very well, here’s the nutrition info, screen-captured so you can see it.

If you’re wondering, that’s about twice as many calories and fat as a McDonald’s Big Mac (PDF). And that’s probably not a good thing.

But, like normal, warm, solid bacon … is the Bacon Shake a “worth it” treat?

I think you can probably guess my answer, which has nothing to do with the fact that Bacon Shake contains no actual bacon (only “bacon syrup,” which I assume is this Torani product – double ick).

Despite my initial, in the moment drive-thru enthusiasm, the answer is “absolutely not.”

The initial hit isn’t bad. Sweet, a little bit of salt … caramel. Kind of a poor man’s … salted caramel, with just a wisp of campfire. But once you stop suction on the straw, the gates of hell open, and your mouth is filled with the plaintive cries of a million charred demons. Rubber charred demons. Start sucking again, and the sweetness wipes away the fake smoke flavor. Stop … and the blackened hands grasp once more at your taste buds as they try to escape your gaping maw.

Am I exagerrating? Maybe a little. Not much. I say “save yourself the $3.89 and get a baconator.” Made with actual bacon, about the same fat content, but a few less calories. Did I mention it’s actually made with bacon? Not great bacon, but actual bacon. Factually.

But I’m writing to tell you about a beer I’m drinking right now. It was Don’s. I made it to his estate sale on the second day, and most of the good stuff (if there was good stuff – Don had dissimilar taste in beer to me) was already gone. But there on the shelves, I found something dusty and … curious. A six-pack of Henry Weinhard’s Private Reserve. Bottling number 13.

This is not a beer you’d normally age, so it must have had some significance. Or not. When I die, I suppose people will find lots of things around and wonder why I kept them. That G4 in the basement, for example, circa 1998. Equally dust-covered.

The label says “only premium quality brewing for four generations.” So maybe it’s one of the last brews from Henry’s before Miller’s takeover? That was in 1999. This could be a 13-plus-year-old beer. Or not. Marketers can be … misleading.

I can tell you one thing – there’s no born-on date. Nor is there any carbonation. The cap was a bit tarnished, and the screw-top never was a reliable barrier for gases in or out. No sound at all when I opened it.

It is absolutely clear, though. No sediment in the bottom, either. Guessing this, like its present-day descendants, is not bottle-conditioned.

And the taste? It’s faint. Just a hint of wet malt. Very thin. I doubt I will drink more than a sip or two, but it smells nice. Like Fuller’s Vintage, even. But very little actual flavor. Vintage beer-scented water.

Rest in peace, Don. Maybe someday you’ll tell me what you were saving this for.

Update: one more thought. The bottle doesn’t include a bottle deposit on the label. Oregon’s famous “Bottle Bill,” which added a 5-cent deposit to beer bottles, was enacted in 1971. It’s hard to believe the beer could be that old, though.