Snack Bowl XXXL: The Greatest Food Stadium Ever

Yesterday, as you may have heard, was Superbowl Sunday. In years past, we’ve used Superbowl Sunday as an excuse to try out some insane food: In 2006, we made The Hamdog. In 2007, it was La Caja China. Last year, we decided to give our hearts (and our wives) a rest, and just went the traditional typical Doritos/Chili/Drunken Husband route.

This year, we knew we needed a comeback. And a week ago, the neccessary inspiration arrived, in the form of Holy Taco’s “Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built.” Most people would look at that, chuckle, and click on by. But Nate and I recognized the implicit challenge in that statement. “Ever?” we wondered. “We’ll see about that.”

You see, Holy Taco’s stadium has some critical flaws, the first of which is that Twinkie’s are disgusting. They make a good building material because no one wants to eat them – structural integrity is guaranteed. Secondly, the whole microwave bacon barrier they have going is gross. Even Wendy’s has better bacon. And what’s with all the pre-pack dips? If you’re making a food stadium, MAKE the food stadium.

We set to work Sunday morning, assembling the neccessary ingredients. 5 loaves of bread for the stadium walls. 2 kinds of tortilla chips. 2 kinds of crackers. 7 avacados, 3 tomatoes and 2 jalapenos for the guacamole. 2 aluminum pans. Pepperoni sticks. Toothpicks, lots and lots of toothpicks.

food-stadium-supplies

Another flaw in Holy Taco’s plan: it was built in situ. We needed to get our creation to a party later in the afternoon, so portability was critical. We found a large piece of plywood, and seamed the aluminum pans together on top, tacking them in place. We then covered the whole thing in tinfoil.

the-playing-surface

We substituted bread slices for the Twinkies, ringing them around in a shape somewhere between an oval and a rectangle. We used toothpicks to secure each slice to its mates, stabbing it down through four layers of bread once the wall was complete.

the-bread-ring

The inner wall proved a little more challenging. We ended up taking the Wasa crackers, high in fiber and thus structure, and wedged them between toothpicks that we embedded into the plywood with the help of a DeWalt drill. The result was surprisingly stable – more than strong enough to restrain the throngs of Chex mix and tortilla chips we were expecting.

the-inner-wall

Things started moving pretty quickly once the basic structure was established. I filled the stands with chips and homemade Chex mix (Store-bought party mix? Are you kidding?), while Nate laid the sausage and cheese sidelines and Sarah made guacamole.

nate-the-food-decorator

The sidelines established, we moved onto the field, cementing a Club cracker border with Easy Cheese, a surprisingly (eerily) good adhesive. Nate laid in the homemade Spinach dip, kept separate from the guacamole with another row of crackers.

the-spinach-dip-is-brought-in

Sarah then field the alternating rows with homemade guacamole, completing the playing/eating surface. Nate began work on the players. Black olives for the Steelers, and white mini-mozarella balls for the Cardinals. Giddy laughter nearly brought us to tears by this point, as the enormity of our accomplishment drew closer.

sarah-adding-guacamole

We made goalposts out of the Tillamook Beef Sticks, and called it good. Our masterpiece completed in under 2 hours, we celebrated with a bottle of Unibroue’s Raftman, “brewed to commemorate the legendary courage of the forest workers.” Not sure if we count as forest workers, but our courage was legendary. Hell, Nate made the Hungarian sausage used for the players’ bodies.

moving-the-stadium

It was breathtaking, from the heights of its sausage flags to its guacamole/spinach dip playing surface. (If you want a closer look, here’s a desktop-background-sized version.)

aerial-view

The verdict? I’ll let the picture tell the story.

the-aftermath



16 Responses to “Snack Bowl XXXL: The Greatest Food Stadium Ever”

  1. brandon schoessler Says:


    Visit brandon schoessler

    i love you guys.

  2. Paul Souders Says:


    Visit Paul Souders

    This is the best blog post in the history of all blog posts since the Blog Bang.

  3. Kate Says:


    Visit Kate

    That’s awesome! Very cool guys.

  4. Tom Potterf Says:


    Visit Tom Potterf

    Holy Taco, eat your exploding heart out. There’s a new Greatest Snack Food Stadium in town. And Dave and Nate just purchased the naming rights.

  5. Scott Says:


    Visit Scott

    Bravo!

  6. Craziest Gadgets Says:


    Visit Craziest Gadgets

    EPIC. CONFIRMED.

  7. Jim Says:


    Visit Jim

    That rocks! I wish I was there to help consume it!!!
    THanks for the inspiration.

  8. New Gadgets Says:


    Visit New Gadgets

    That’s amazing….hats off, belt buckles open…Mike

  9. Chipper Dave Butler Says:


    Visit Chipper Dave Butler

    Holy cow that is one amazing piece of food art! That’s one of the most creative Super Bowl snack trays I’ve ever seen. With all of that work you put into it you must have had second thoughts about eating it. Good thing you captured it for all time in pictures. Well done! I’ll have to remember that for a future party sometime.

  10. rob Says:


    Visit rob

    Love it. Awesome from start to finish and a great write up too.

  11. Karen Says:


    Visit Karen

    And I thought I did well to throw some dip in a white bowl and set it in the center of a big pile of chips on a red plate! Guess I’ve sorta been out-done! Way to go, Nate et al.

  12. Linda Brown Says:


    Visit Linda Brown

    Omigosh,you guys put Gingerbread Houses to SHAME. Very creative and fun. Carry on!

  13. Angie Says:


    Visit Angie

    All i can say is WOW! That is the coolest party tray i have ever seen!!

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    [...] my poor gut. The things I subject it to: Hamdogs, Turduckens, and Food Stadiums, oh [...]

  15. Holy Super Bowl Platters! (Do Not Look If You’re On a Diet) Says:


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  16. Six Super-Sized Super Bowl Snacking Sensations | ChurchMag Says:


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    [...] Super Bowl parties, today, I wonder if they’ll see anything this elaborate?[via][via][via][via][via]Yum! About Eric Dye: I believe in media that matters. I have produced radio for over 15 [...]


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