I have not been afraid this week. Many of my friends and family have expressed their concerns about the amount of fat and sodium I am ingesting this week, but the fact is, I haven’t actually eaten that much bacon, instead focusing mainly on bacon-inspired products. Today, though, I was afraid. I had butterflies as I drove up Sandy Boulevard in the direction of Wendy’s to face … the Baconator.
(I also made the mistake of looking at its nutritional information on Wendys.com before eating.)
For the uninitiated, non-American or TV-less among you, the Baconator is a new-ish sandwich from the Wendy’s fast food chain. It’s two 1/4 pound beef patties, each topped with a slice of cheese (American, of course). Before being slathered with ketchup and mayo, this thing is topped with SIX slices of bacon. That’s one for every finger on your left hand, plus one. That’s a lot of bacon. It’s also a LOT of fat and calories, 51 grams and 830, respectively, perfect for the wannabe diabetic in your life.
I got mine with a medium Coke and french fry, bringing my caloric total to 640, and dollar total to $6.88, making my cost per calorie just a little less than 1 cent/calorie. Mmm, frugal.
It actually wasn’t bad. Wendy’s prides itself on its fresh, never-frozen beef, and the burgers actually tasted pretty beefy. The bun was un-smooshed and looked like a bun, which is always a surprise at fast food … I’ve had my share of burgers from other chains that resembled a thin disk of mystery meat between two misshapen pancakes, but the bun actually looked like the picture … almost a little too perfect, though. And the bacon? Disappointing. It was the thin, overly sweet, too bacon-flavored, plasticky-textured fast food bacon that tastes really, really fake. It’s trying too hard to taste like bacon, and fooling no one.
Actually, it did fool someone … apparently Zagat is suddenly doing fast food reviews, and Wendy’s hamburgers are now Zagat-rated.
Still, I pressed on, and managed to finish the entire burger. Unfortunately, while I was distracted, the fries had gone cold, and lacking enough salt (or is my tongue becoming cured?), I couldn’t bring myself to finish them. I figure I’m probably closer to 1.2 cents/calorie. I did manage to eat enough fries to reveal something on the tray beneath my mound of fatty food, something I can only assume is a prayer for those in the beginning stages of a heart attack. I give you … The Baconator’s Creed:
I am a true MEATATARIAN because …
I feel bacon should be its own food group.
I eat, sleep and breathe beef and bacon.
I have ketchup running through my veins.
I will only recognize cheese if it is on a hamburger.
I know the secret to true happiness is hickory smoked bacon.
I believe the Baconator® is the true 8th Wonder of the World.