A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.
(in more useful terms, that’s a wee bit over 5 miles per pint)
Y’all probably think it’s easy doing this blog thing. You’re wrong. It’s work. Hard work. Plowing through 14 of the finest beers in the state can take the punch right out of a man. All the great Oregon breweries did the business to our livers, all in the name of Fred Eckhardt.
In attendance from BS Brewing were Dave, Bruce, Nate, Andrew and myself. And the paparazzi.
BridgePort Cask Old Knucklehead: One of the other knuckleheads in tow will have to review this one. I somehow missed it.
Deschutes Coffee-Infused 20k Imperial Bourbon Porter: Somehow, missed this one, too.
Full Sail Black Gold Imperial Stout: What’s up with them putting all the beers I missed at the top?
Hair of the Dog Cask Fred: Oh my syrupy sweetness. I believe this was the second beer I tried, and it was silly delicious.
Laurelwood Green Mammoth Imperial IPA: A beautiful beer. Great floral nose, and fantastic citrusy hoppy goodness.
Lucky Lab Russian Imperial Stout: We bundled up our courage to tell Fred a happy birthday. I couldn’t resist asking which beer stood out to Fred. He picked the Lucky Lab Russian Imperial Stout. He was right. Smoky and manly, yet not overly heavy, it was a beer to put hair on your chest.
Max’s Fanno Creek Golden Alt: Lightest beer of the day, and a great respite from the gloomy clouds. Beautiful malty goodness.
New Old Lompoc Oak-Aged LSD: The classic, taken to the wood-shed, came out stronger for it. My first beer upon arrival, and I instantly wondered if I’d survive the day. I am not a strong ale sorta guy, but it grew on me with a few sips.
Pelican Grand Cru de Pelican: A good roasted malty cru. Sweet, but not treacly. I’d love to try this again — I think by the time I got around to it, I was a little worn out and didn’t give it the chance it deserved.
Raccoon Lodge Sour Wild Blackberry Aged in Oak: Dark with a pink head. Cute. Cut and refreshed the palate on a heavy day. Not cloyingly sweet — souring it was a brilliant move, and kept it light.
Rock Bottom Ned Flanders Red: Amazing. Flat out delicious sourness.
Rogue Dad’s Little Helper Malt Liquor: Skipped it. Bruce tried it.
Roots Pinot-Barrel-Aged Epic: Epic + wine barrel = Epic-er. Dang. That’s some great big beer they’re making.
Widmer Collaborator Continuum Brown: You know you’re at Hair of the Dog when a good brown ale can seem refreshing, but such was the day. Widmer teams up with a local homebrewer for special occasions such as this. We even met the gentleman from the Oregon Brew Crew who took responsibility for it. He had a sweet glass-holding contraption he wore around his neck — clearly, a dude who takes his beer tasting seriously. I think Dave’s got a photo of the BS boys with Rob Widmer and the Oregon Brew Crew brewer — shoot, I totally spaced his name.
OK, last but not least was the food. White chedder with peaches. Cocoa puffs. Jalepeno chocolate truffles. Chicken marinated in Hair of the Dog Fred and herbs, then smoked. Tri-tip marinated in Hair of the Dog Adam and garlic. As Bruce said, “That’s some freakin’ expensive marinade.” Oh, but it was amazing. As the beer line went past the buffet table, everyone snuck little slices of meat with their fingers. So utterly fantastic that we couldn’t stop.
“I really couldn’t be happier right now,” Dave said. “Name me one place on earth better than where we are right now.”
Dave nailed it: Oregon perfection. Of course he’d think that. He won the raffle. Lucky bastard.
It started innocently enough. Andrew invited everyone over to “The Man Cave” to watch de la Hoya chase “Whiny Boy” Floyd Mayweather around a boxing ring. Turns out, that was also Kentucky Derby Day.
And Cinco de Mayo.
Quite the pickle, so we did what Americans do best: we stirred the mixing pot (brew pot?) to make our very own holiday. We’ve even got a little competition going: brew a beer that mixes all these holidays.
Andrew took the early lead by celebrating National Homebrew Day with a five-figure purchase (when you count the two digits after the decimal point) of a brand new brew kit. The Cadillac of kits. He even got a 20-foot copper wort chiller. I believe he’s making a Hop Rod Rye — beautiful scarlet colors.
Dave came up with, to my mind, the subtlest ingredient that celebrates our brewing brothers south of the border: maize in the mash. Otherwise, he rocked out a Chili IPA: he’ll be dry-hopping and dry-chiliing his brewing. Personally, I’m afraid.
Colonel Selden was a trooper, never letting his pot boil over while playing the attentive host (with his lovely wife) for the scads of Derby watchers assembled at Casa de Selden. Thank God Her Majesty had other plans, or we would’ve had to work an English Bitter theme in to our beer, too.
Bruce rocked the title category, brewing a Mexican Porter-Horse. Fear itself lurks in those inky depths — four chili peppers thrown in with the boiling hops. Remarkably, when sampling the chilled wort, the powerful chilis were evident only when you really swished it around in your mouth. Black Beauty meets Speedy Gonzalez. Or some other equally derisive Mexican cliché.
I rolled up a brew I’ll be calling Las Tripel Crown. Maize for the boys down south. Oats for my equine brothers in the race. And to clarify the beer, gelatin. You know, for the also-rans in the Derby. (I should allow Wikipedia to point out that gelatin is not commonly made from animal hooves. Anymore.) Belgian yeast was pitched the next day, which should result in a very acidic and sour beer. Much as I felt a little soured after watching de la Hoya chase Mayweather around the ring, only to get punked by the judges. Anyway, it’s Ingelmunster Ale (3822) yeast from Wyeast, so it won’t technically be a Belgian Tripel, but so what?
We’ll be tasting these beers and awarding the Triple Crown the day of the Belmont Stakes. Stay tuned.
