Sarah and I joined the Painters at Portland Nursery’s annual Apple Festival this morning, and I walked away with 11 gallons of Hood River Cider. I talked to the grower, and he had just pressed the cider yesterday, mostly of Gala apples. 11 gallons may seem like an awful lot of cider (and it is), but the batch I made last year was so good, and so easy, I thought I’d better make a double-batch this year.Of course, doing the same thing twice is just boring, so I decided to make two different recipes:

1. Bathtub Shampagne. Simply dump 5 gallons Ryan’s Apple Cider into sanitized carboy. It is illegal to sell unpasteurized cider, so there are no pesky germs in there to compete with the desireable yeast, in this case, White Labs’ Champagne Wine Yeast (#WLP715). This is the same stuff I made last year that resulted in a dry, tart and refreshing cider with lots of champagne flavor. Very tasty and it was especially popular with Becca. O.G.: 1.056 @71 degrees F.
2. B-Side Cider. With this one, I got a little wackier. I started by heating 1 gallon of cider in a big stockpot, and added to that 3 lbs. of “neighborhood” honey from Barlean’s Honey in Milwaukee, Oregon. The “neighborhood” designation differentiates it from “apple” or “clover” honey, and just means that the bees who made this honey did so by sampling flowers in the vicinity of the Barlean’s apiary. I brought that mix to a boil, added 2-3 cups of brown sugar and a special blend of autumn spices: dried ginger, ground nutmeg, cinnamon and about 3 tablespoons of real vanilla extract. It smelled so delicious, it was tough to put it in a fermenter with the other 4 gallons of cider, but I did. My hope is that this is a sweeter, more alcoholic version of the above, with a bit more complex spiciness. I also used a cider yeast instead of champagne yeast, White Labs’ English Cider Yeast (#WLP775). O.G.: 1.082 @78 degrees F.

In other news, I also bottled and corked the mead I made a little more than a year ago. I didn’t take good notes as to quantities or gravities, but seem to recall about 18 lbs. of honey put into the batch. Since I didn’t have the historic information, I didn’t even bother taking a final gravity, but it is a very tasty mead. The alcohol heat is a little stronger than I’d like, but it does grow on you. Nice pale yellow color, straw-like and just a little bit cloudy. A very pleasant drink that I think would go very well with a fine cigar. It will be interesting to see how it changes over the years, as I plan on sitting on a few of these bottles for a good long while.

There was a time in the not too distant past when Dave was ordering begging me to contribute something the The Champagne of Blogs and now I’m starting to wonder if he’s regretting that decision.

Like the neighbor down the street with the 73 Nova on blocks, I seem to be doing a good job trashing up the place. Dave has insightful photo essays on the Iowa State Fair and he and Thom (Welcome Thom!) did the enormously popular Metolius Brew entry. As for me, well, I’m responsible for two beer bong entries, a gratuitous boob shot from Octoberfest and a Homer Simpson picture. So, in honor of my online white trashy-ness, I present Edward 40 Hands.

According to the Wikipedia entry, Edward 40 Hands is a binge drinking game in which a player duct tapes a 40 oz. bottle of alcohol (usually malt liquor, e.g., Colt 45) to each of his or her hands and is not allowed to take them off until he drinks them. Players also are not allowed to do anything with their hands until they finish, so without being too crude, I hope you’ve got a big bladder.

Girls can play too!

OK, back to Dave talking about mouthfeel at Tugboat Brewing.

I finally found one of those annoying motivational posters worth looking at.

Without mentioning anything about the Ohio State University, especially in reference to any football games they recently played, the good people at the Wizard of Odds found another great beer bonging picture.

Chris introduced me to La Caja China last night, and I don’t think I could be more excited about something. I thought I knew all the ways you could cook pork, coming as I do from the Pork State. I was wrong. Very, very, deliciously wrong.

I think if the Minotards (our team name) win the Holocene Mini-Golf Tourney with the Labyrinth, we’re going to be the proud new owners of this bad boy, setting Superbowl history in the process. And pork will never be the same again.

Be sure to check out the desktop wallpaper/pig-cooking instructions page, as well as the video showing “La Caja” in action with Bobby Flay.

How cool is it that the product’s name is translated “The Chinese Box?”